


Fuzz! In the Name of Love!

by musicalphrase



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Body Hair, But it's not the point?, Domestic Fluff, I blame Cadwulf server, If you don't like body hair, Like it's the entire fic, M/M, Modern AU, So much body hair, Two fuzzballs, but fair warning, it gets places, there's sex, this is not the fic for you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:01:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27164938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicalphrase/pseuds/musicalphrase
Summary: Everyone said it would take time to get used to living with one another.No one mentioned anything about the hair.NOTE: This fic was written prior to Aro/Ace Cad confirmation. I wrote it with the image of DemiCad in mind. Please keep this in mind while reading, as there are some discussions of sexuality within.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Eodwulf
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	Fuzz! In the Name of Love!

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I...
> 
> I don't know.
> 
> This happened. And I am 110% blaming highintlowwis and AlphaShortie over in the Cadwulf server for it.
> 
> But hey, Everything Is Content in this sweet lil rare pair, y'know?
> 
> Anywho, this is a fic about Body Hair. Between a Firbolg and a Fuzzy dude, there is an abundance of it, of this I am sure.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> ***

When they first moved in together, everyone warned them about the difficulties they would face once the honeymoon phase wore off. That they’d have to figure out and strike a balance between their religious practices (it was sometimes difficult blending two religions in a household) or their personal needs for nature and study (both of these things took a lot of time away from one another after all) and that everything in their life would be different, but mostly better.

No one expected the biggest hurdle they would face would be the sheer amount of hair they accumulated.

It would collect in the corners of the apartment, pink and black blending, co-conspirators in the shadows, plotting ways to just mess with it’s housemates from whom they were born.

It started innocently enough.

Sitting down to dinner one night, as Caduceus placed a bowl of warm vegetable stew in front of Eadwulf, the mage chuckled as he looked down into the bowl.

“Caduceus, I know you make delicious food, but I didn’t realize you had such a personal spice to go along with it,” Eadwulf teased as he fished out a long pink hair. Caduceus at least had the decency to look a bit embarrassed. “I’m sorry. It’s just… it gets places sometimes,” he muttered and Eadwulf smiled and reached across the table to put a hand on Caduceus’ wrist. “I was teasing _Lichtlein_. I don’t mind.”

They were famous last words.

***

The next time the hair became a problem, Eadwulf was in the middle of teaching his Arcane students the fundamentals of the spell Polymorph. Habitually, he reached into his components pouch and pulled out what felt like a cocoon, and casually cast the spell on himself. It didn’t quite go as planned.

Although in cat form, even with the cat’s intellect he knew something was off when his students in the front row began cooing after him and giggling behind their hands. Narrowing his feline eyes, Wulf looked down at his paws. What was supposed to be orange and white fur was decidedly… pink in hue. Glaring down at his own paw, Eadwulf swished his tail in front of his face and — yep. Not the colour he was supposed to be.

Ending the spell abruptly, Eadwulf glanced down at the components in his hands. It spoke to his mastery of the spell that he had managed to complete it without the correct components, for in his hand sat a cocoon of pink fur. Huffing a deep sigh, he barked out a question asking the students to theorize why he was able to successfully cast the spell without the right components, and as they began to stammer out answers, Wulf huffed another sigh. This hair thing was really getting silly.

***

The final straw for Eadwulf was later that week when, during a deliciously long, slow blowjob, Caduceus abruptly pulled off, right as Eadwulf was coming close to climaxing.

“What– Caduceus, are you alright?” he asked, just this side of disoriented at the abrupt cool air on his dick. Caducues didn’t reply, focused instead on seemingly trying to get something off of his tongue. Concerned, Wulf began to sit up, right as Caduceus managed to pull a long, white hair off of his tongue. “Sorry, it’s just… I could feel it trying to go down my throat, and if we kept going I think I would have choked,” Caduceus explained and Wulf fell back on his pillows with a deep groan. As Caduceus climbed up to lie next to him, Wulf grabbed him around the waist and gave him a long, frustrated kiss. Pulling away, Wulf looked at his love square in the eye.

“We are getting a Roomba tomorrow.” Caduceus smiled.

“I like that.”

In the end, Caduceus had to stop three more times that night both to pull his hair out of his mouth and Eadwulf’s hair out of his mouth, but they did eventually make love.

And finally, both satiated, Cad smiled into Eadwulf’s fuzzy chest and said,

“We’ll call her Roombug.” And Eadwulf couldn’t help but fall more in love with this Firbolg in his arms. 

***

In the end, they decided that Roombug needed wings. Caduceus crafted her a set made out of beautiful gossamer, crafting them in a way to keep them off the floor and keep Roombug out of trouble. It’s really quite ridiculous, Eadwulf thought, that they insisted on doting so much on a piece of machinery to make their lives a little less fuzzy, but then that was Caduceus for you.

Roombug didn’t solve all of their hair problems. Occasionally Eadwulf would still find a hair in his soup. A hairball in his components pouch. And, disappointingly, they would both have to pause in the middle of sex to fish a hair out of their teeth.

But really, if this was the hardest thing they had to face as a newly moved in together couple? In the end, Eadwulf didn’t mind, not one bit.

**Author's Note:**

> Welp. That happened.  
> (I adore these two large fuzzy men.)


End file.
